How Do You Spell Success

How Do You Spell Success

The Unfulfilled Pursuit of Success

 Can you imagine if you spent 20 years of your life trying to be a success trying to really be someone and you really have this bold ambition to reach the moon but then when you actually become that someone you realize the person that you've become is not what you want to be at all.

Early Life and Dreams

I grew up in a small country town in a place called Sheppard and which was about 200 kilometers north of Melbourne in the southeast of Australia and I had six brothers and sisters.

The Dream of Becoming a Professional Cyclist

All of those brothers and sisters I had left school by the time they were 15 and I didn't leave school at 15 because they wanted to leave school they left school because it was a necessity because when we were growing up it was really tough to make ends meet and although I grew up with a lot of hardship as a kid I also grew up with a big dream and that dream was to become a professional cyclist.

The Early Years in Cycling

I started racing BMX when I was nine years old and by the time I was 16 I progressed to the velodrome and then onto the road and the youth at this photo was taken which was 1987 that's me on the Left I've qualified with my friend and training partner Stuart Mackenzie to race the Australian Championships so I was one of the best riders I guess of my generation I worked really hard to get there you know as a kid cycling was my life.

The First Signs of Change

But I never forget I guess from the age of around 15 something started to happen and I guess the first sign of that was my interview with my careers advisor at school when I was about 15.

The Pressure to Be Realistic

And I met with my career advisor and she said Jamie what do you want to be and I said I want to be Greg Lee mourned and of course she said Greg Lihue and I explained that my dream was to become a professional cyclist and this conversation went on for a while but I never forget the words that I left her that she left me with she said Jamie maybe it's time to be realistic.

The Academic Path

You see because the other thing I was besides being a good cyclist was actually I was a pretty smart kid and I did very well at school and in fact not too far well not too much after I raced the Australian Championships I set my end of school exams and I did very well and in fact I did so well that I was offered a grant to study at the University of Melbourne and University of Melbourne is one of Australia's best places of higher education.

The Dilemma of Choosing an Academic Path

I remember getting this letter from the University and lying in my bed on a Sunday night and just looking at it and thinking I don't want to do this but of course I also had a huge weight of expectation.

Feeling Trapped and Lacking Choice

Because it wasn't just my career's teacher it was all of my teachers it were many of my friends and the message they were telling me was that Jaime cycling is just a dream and dreams really pay the bills and dreams really take you places and I started to feel this real anxiety and what I started to think about was this choice of what am I going to do but what I also started to realize was that actually maybe I didn't have a choice at all.

Leaving the Dream Behind

And I'm not sure if you understand what I'm saying but because of the environment that I'd grown up in on this housing commissioner state I knew almost no kids who had gone on to university there were maybe four or five hundred kids in the neighborhood where I grew up there were only one or two of them had gone to university none of my brothers and sisters had had that chance so I started to feel that actually you know what I don't have a choice at all and a few weeks before my 18th birthday I moved to Melbourne and I started University and I said goodbye to my European dream.

The 20-Year Journey in Academia

And what do I do for the next 20 years well for the next 20 years I worked really hard because you know one of the things I learned as a young ambitious sportsman was that it was about discipline it was about focus so I worked really really hard and there was another reason I worked hard because when I went to Melbourne University I looked around maybe there was maybe one in ten kids who were like me.

The Drive to Prove Oneself

You know most of those kids were from private schools and privileged backgrounds and you know what I hated those kids yeah and I wanted to be better than them.

Navigating an Uncertain Path

Now I didn't quite know what I wanted to be though because you know I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone was a blue-collar worker so I looked around at universe method I looked at the guys who's making money and the guys I saw with these professors actually they didn't dress like the other professors they wore suits and ties and they drove fancy cars and they made a lot of money and those professors were the business school professors so I said I'm going to be one of them.

Climbing the Academic Ladder

So I worked really hard to after my undergraduate scholarship I went on and I got a graduate scholarship and in fact by the 20 by the time I was 29 years old they took me 10 years I was working at one of the top graduate management schools in the world I was living in London and what did I do when I got to London I worked really hard and in fact for ten years I got promoted.

Achieving Success but Losing Oneself

I got encouraged and this is what happens you when you're a high performer when you an achiever the doors open in front of you so I kept working and by the time I was 39 years old I was there I published in the world's top journals I was working one of the best business schools in the world I was traveling the world I was making more money than I ever imagined would be possible in my life and I was also desperately unhappy.

The Price of Success

And in fact that's who I was and I'm not sure you know what you see in this face but what I saw in that in the mirror every single day was tiredness because I was really tired I'd been working and working this is 20 this this took a long time this was 20 years as a journey and I've worked and I'd worked and I you know put sleep aside and I put hobbies aside and I worked really hard to get this so I was tired and you know what else I was I was arrogant because to survive in that environment that egotistical hierarchical environment I'd become a bit of an because you have to be right you have to be that you sometimes in this event so that's what I become so I was tired you know I was arrogant and I was unhealthy.

The Impact on Family

You know here's a guy who'd been a sportsman it's not like I was really fat but I was soft I was I was soft you know and then and the other thing though the other thing was that I wasn't alone anymore you know I'd been on this journey for twenty years but actually along the way I've met a wonderful woman we got married and by this time I had three children and although I was this big success in my career I wasn't a good husband and I wasn't be a good father because I was so obsessed was this with this thing that I thought was success.

A Revelation: The Shift in Priorities

And there's actually there's a wonderful quote by Lao Tzu the Chinese philosopher and Lao Tzu says if you keep heading in the same direction you're likely to get where you were going and the fact was I didn't like where I was going but there was a problem because I also had to realize that you know for this 20 years that I've been this high achiever this high performer everyone's been telling me it's about you it's about your success and about what you can do with your life and you know what I started to understand it wasn't about me at all it was about us because was about me and my wife and my kids and what we actually wanted from our life.

Seeking Clarity: Defining New Goals

So in 2009 I sat with my wife under me and we took a sheet of paper and a bottle of wine I think it was two actually and we drew a picture and what we did is we drew a picture about what success meant for us.

A New Vision of Success

And in fact what was on that picture was was love actually it was a relationship because with all this hard work and travel we were missing romance as a couple but also I was not being a good dad.

Rediscovering Old Dreams

You know I remember reading bedtime stories to my kids and I would skip it because I had stuff to do and you know what if you do that with an eight-year-old kid they know they've heard this story countless times you know I didn't want to do that anymore I wanted to read stories to my kids and go on holidays with them and play Monopoly and the other thing of course that Anna Mae and I wanted was was just just a place you know we'd been living in big cities and apartments and fancy places we just wanted a little house with a garden somewhere neither the forest or or the lake where the kids could run and be free that's how we grew up.

The Career Dilemma

Now the career thing was a bit of a problem because you know what I didn't know what I wanted to do you know I was this big professor but I hated 80% of my job I was this international consultant I was this management guru I didn't like it but I wasn't sure at that moment what I wanted to do my wife under me she wanted to get back to work and of course in the bottom right corner of that picture what was there there was a little hand-drawn bicycle because that fire that I had inside me when I was nine years old that fire was still burning I still had this dream.

A New Beginning

And I discovered this thing called the world masters games have you heard of it it's an Olympics for old people like me it's every four years it's an incredible organization 23 different sports in 2009 it was in Sydney the next one was coming in Torino in 2013 and I said to my wife I'm gonna go and guys I don't know if you've ever had that look from your wife you know but and you know what I was terrified because what I realized was that picture did not fit with the job I had so a few days later I went into that prestigious school and I resigned my job and that was a terrifying experience.

Embracing Change

Because I had to confront fear fear that it's all going to go away the financial security fear that I'm going to lose this status you know this professor Tyler and all that stuff but under me and I said you know what that doesn't matter we will find our way so what I did is I tried to find that new path we tried to find a new path and it was hard you know for the first two years I was on that path I was afraid I earn almost nothing you know when I got back on my bicycle I started to train again that took time I fell down I broke bones but every single time under me and I experienced a setback or a heartache we said that's the picture and we kept heading towards it.

Achieving the Dream

And on the 8th of August in 2013 I stood on the start line of the world masters Games in Torino and I can't tell you how this felt because I dreamed about this moment since I was 9 years old and I was not there alarmed because in Torino were my three beautiful children and in the most amazing life and as I stood on the start line getting ready to be marshaled you know on on the race my little girl Hana pushed away through the Marshalls and she came up to me she took my hand and I will never ever forget what she said because she took my hand and she said Papa it's okay if you don't win and you know what she was completely right because being there in Torino was not about winning a bike race being there in Torino was about the journey.

The Fulfillment of Dreams

And you know what we'd had the courage we had we had this this disbelief that we could make something and at that moment when my little girl held my hand in Torino I realized that every single thing that under me and I had drawn on that picture four years before was starting to fall into place okay I was a different person I was a rider I was a speaker I wasn't a professor anymore but I was a husband I think I'd become a good dad and I was a cyclist again and oh yeah the other thing that Hana said was watch out for those guys.

Conclusion: The Importance of Pursuing Your Own Moon

You know I love this picture because have a look at their faces those guys are there to win look at me I'm smiling like a monkey and I were happy and everything because this was just this was just amazing you know and that race you know that race was nine laps of an eight-kilometer circuit through Park Valentino the streets of Turin it was nine laps of pain and every single lap I looked down and there were three little children and they were screaming there was a beautiful Belgian woman wrapped in an Australian flag and she was cheering me on and every single time we went around that circuit we went up mount couple Cheney Mount Kappa Cheney was a one-kilometer climb with an 18% gradient and I'd been trying to put my body over that mountain every single day for four years and every single time we went over the mountain I look behind me and there were 20 more guys gone there were 20 more guys gone and what you see here is two laps to go and you see that guy at the back with the white and the green sleeves that's me and at that moment a crazy thing started to go through my head I could win but I didn't win that was an incredible Czech cyclist I didn't get second because that was an Italian but I did come home with a bronze medal.

The Takeaway: Success and the Journey

And this is my medal and you know I carry this with me everywhere but you know what and I guess this is the message I want to leave for you is it's it's fantastic you know success is great and shooting for the moon is great but out there in the universe there are a lot of moons so just make sure that the moon that you are shooting for is your own thank you very much.